I'm Back!我回来了！

I'm back to Penang from the National Service Program that last for 66 days in Kem Rimba Taqwa, Sik, Kedah.
Such a wonderful experience i had there.
I met lots of people.
They are different from people i know back in my village.
But they are same in some aspect.
I found out that i am such a quite person in a brand new environment. I just stay quite and listen to what they say, i still keep on laughing and smiling, but less talking.

My mind are opened.
"the more you know the more you know you don't know."
I found something in through this program, something that i had been searching for a long time, something that had full filled my heart, thank God for this blessing and grace.

I know a lot of people from different school, different places, different backgrounds. There are: rabbit, hamster, panda, frog, elephant, currents,kj lim, apple, mango, banana(this is all their nicknames) and a lot a lot a lot of people. I found people that share same personalities with me, I met quite a number of Conan Fans too. Hehe.....

The life in kem are tiring.
We wake up at six, Muslims at 5am. Have damn physical training at 6.30am. Then a rushing breakfast at 7.40pm. Have boring classes at 8.30am for the whole morning. After that, have our lunch at 12.30pm. then rest and have a bath or wash our clothes. 2.15pm we will start our afternoon session activities such as marching, kraf hutan, tali tinggi, pembelajaran peta and so on. 4.30pm, our afternoon tea. then it is time for us to have excercise, mostly i go jogging with Michell. 6pm, our dinner(really early dinner for me because i have my dinner at nine in home). 7pm to 9pm, we non Muslims are not allowed to go anywhere except Dewan Makan. We have to wait there until 9pm, the Muslims will go into surau to pray and hear ceramah. During this two hours, Christians will gather together and have activities like praying, worshiping and sharing. That is Christians Fellowship. every Tuesday and Friday are open days for non-Christian to join them. On that days we will play games.
This repeating life is boring but i learned a lot. My knowledge grows day by day.my mind was opened wider and wider everyday. I have started to open out my heart and learn how to share. Thank God.

What is different?
My skin tone is different--->darker
My weight is different--->lower(^@^)
My mind is different--->opened
My........a lot are different...lol

I've learned:
tolerance, discipline, sharing, caring, open minded, be polite, keep on learning, lower yourself, honest to yourself, respecting others.There is nothing worth in the world that can make us sad or unhappy,God had prepared better things for us uphead, we should be fulfilled and thankful for what we had now,for God had blessed us with His grace.

EXCEPT the torture we get in the program, National Service is still a good thing! YEAH! :D

离家

最近和家里发生了些争执
跟父母关系有些不好
虽然他们已经尽力对我笑笑，对我友好
对彼此友善，深怕会影响我的考试
但是还是我还是一样，对他们又爱又恨
或许是我不成熟，叛逆
那如果离家才能知道家的美好，家的温暖
那就让我离家吧......在那未来
我总有离家的日子
或许我那时就会明白，家的好
就会接受，家是在争吵的气氛下得到快乐的
就会习惯，姐姐所说的那个必须习惯
虽然只为了芝麻小事争吵，说了伤害彼此的话
就算被伤害的不是我自己，
但我不能像姐姐一样挂上笑容，说笑搞气氛
不能像哥哥一样不理会
但我不能，我不能上一秒生气伤心，下一秒笑嘻嘻
因为我不觉得在家，还需要戴上面具
他们以为他们吵架不关孩子的事，是，这是你们的相处方式
但我需要时间接受，因为从小，你们就让我以为你们很幸福恩爱
难免会让我有些阴影，对未来失去点点信心，对婚姻造成一点点恐惧
让我那么渴望一个可以细心聆听并了解我的人
或许是现在的孩子比较脆弱，抗压能力弱，但我会试着习惯
习惯这一切，直到我长大
直到我感到家的美好、温暖
因为我爱我的家人，不管他们是如何

Natsume Yuujinchou-ED- Aishiteru - Kourin

from one of my favourite anime, Natsume Yuujiin Chou

and here is the full version


Aishiteru means love u, it is a nice song~

english traslation of this song

Hey, just for a little more
just for a little more, please listen to me
Hey, just for a little more
is it alright to be just a little more wilful?
Right after receiving, it seems to disappear again
Could you say something to me?

I love you, I love you
Until the end of the world
While smiling foolishly,
try saying it -
"I love you"
even though its such a simple, thing, i can't do it
I wished to the sky to be able to love properly.

Hey, there are so many thing that
i want to know, and that i don't know well of.
Thus, with these two bodies that can't become one,
we hugged with all our might.

Just by being here with me,
the world has already begun changing.
this monotonic scenery
look, it now reflects such vividness
before i knew it, we were so separated
lets walk on holding hands
Lets ask they sky
if we are able to continue loving properly.

Even if the day that we must part comes
If there are days that I can think of you, I guess thats alright.
Someday the meaning behind our separation will arrive
Because we made a promise, lets move on to tomorrow.

I love you, I love you
Until the end of the world
While smiling foolishly,
try saying it -
"I love you"
even though its such a simple, thing, i can't do it
I wished to the sky to be able to love properly.
I wished to the sky...

九月十七日

今天天气真凉爽~
天阴阴的。
对阴天的感觉还好，不出门想待在家时就觉得很舒服
想出门的话就比较担心（但是坐车去不会被雨淋的地方就非常ok！）
所以我算是喜欢阴天的吧，这种有点阳光的阴天

今天预考第一天，考了华语
华语还算有把握，但是昨熬夜读的名句没出。
新竹高于旧竹枝，全凭老干为扶持
就agak agak的写出它的含义，不懂对不对。

接下来也要好好加油！
今晚就读KM吧！
明天读。。。。
明天早上再想吧！！

减肥减肥~

超重两公斤了，该减肥了~！

控制饮食
早餐=麦片+水果
午餐=妈煮什么吃什么（通常是饭+菜+蛋or肉）
晚餐=饭+汤+菜
多喝水水~！

运动
有空就去跑步二十分钟吧

睡眠
早睡早起身体好~

好啦，最难的part，少吃零食~

饭后不直接喝水
睡前四小时不吃东西
摆脱压力~~

坚持下去~减掉2.5kg~！！

过段日子，就不把你藏起来了

这个部落格，鲜为人知
因为我把它藏起来，不想让大家知道
只让别人自己发现它的存在
因为这里算是一个发泄的地方吧

看会之前的post，
发现了以前写的一些东西，那时的我还发着作家的梦
写了又不敢发表，胆小鬼一个
现在我要把它们post在另一个部落格拉~
完成以下当年的心愿
虽然只是开头，因为我总是没有那份毅力去完成

这个部落格，鲜为人知
过段日子，就不把你藏起来了

白羊觉得孤单了

觉得孤单了，就拿起书看看，找些事做做
觉得孤单了，就放空以下，
一直以来，不就都是一个人的嘛
一个人在走廊上行走
一个人等车
一个人买东西
一个人在家
一个人做功课
一个人....

其实是不是该改掉我的坏习惯呢？
不强颜欢笑，打开心扉
更让别人看得透？
白羊座的我就是这样，爱逞强，死要面子，总把真我藏起来
哈哈哈~~
在别人面前总是哈哈大小，朋友好像很多
真正被我列为朋友的不多，因为我很难信任一个人
该学会接受范围以外的人事物了，
交新朋友，交心朋友
不该在活在自己的世界，这样肯定会变青蛙的！
不能接受自己成为井底之蛙！！
而且再这样下去，会变得很孤立的

我不要一个人，不要丢下我一个人！